Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Competitive Nature or Nurture?

I spend many hours at the gym - training.  My training involves many components such as weight lifting, cardio exercises, stretching, posing, yoga and even socializing.  It is a choice I have made in my life.  As a result, many things take a back seat or are not as important to me.  I have many hobbies but have learned that working out benefits me mentally, physically and emotionally. Don't be fooled, there are days when I'd rather sit on the couch and zone out.  And on occasion that is exactly what I do.  Because I need this state of non-doing once in awhile. I am not a machine. 

I don't expect others to understand nor do I feel the need to justify my life choices to others.  This  includes my time spent in the gym, foods that I eat, clothes that I wear or how much workout equipment and gear that I have purchased.  It is a significant part of my life.  It's what I like to do.  So why not spend my hard earned money on the hobby that I enjoy? I generally don't go out to eat.  I don't drink alcohol except occasionally while on vacation. I don't spend a great deal of money on make-up or 'girly' stuff.  If only I could get paid to train! Yes, I know there are many options for that career but I also have many life responsibilities and other mouths to feed, cloth and shelter besides myself.  So for now, I train and I train for me. I am in competition with myself.

I am dedicated, determined and disciplined. It is a challenge at times but I'm always up for a challenge.  Is it the competitive nature in me or is it the competitive nurture in me? I am my father's daughter. He passed away over a decade ago but many things I do in my life remind me of my father.  I am not the smartest, the best, the fastest, or the strongest.  But I push myself because it is what my Dad taught me. Don't quit. You will only be disappointed with yourself if you don't give it your all each and every time.  There are downsides to having a competitive nature but I believe the pros outweigh the cons.  

I was raised in a large family so naturally, we competed for attention without realizing it.  We vied to be just a bit different or a little better than our siblings because the desire of capturing our parent's attention, even if only for a moment, made it all worth it.  We were the shooting star that passes so quickly! 

Competition isn't always against someone else or something, but against yourself.  We compete with ourselves everyday.  We just fail to realize we are doing exactly that.  Your pit your body against your mind.  Your pit your mind against your body.  Your emotions compete against your common sense.  Your heart competes with emotions. We fight these battles everyday. The only difference is you are both the winner and the loser on some level.  So step up to the plate, the starting line or the racing block and begin your competition because you will be the winner in the end. 

Life is hard. Life is harder if your are stupid, weak and a quitter. Sounds harsh but that is reality.